Happy New Year!

I really created a monster when I gave my holiday greeting card business to the Gnomes. They have branched out to include New Years cards. This one is supposed to corner the Chinese market.

Since they don't know Chinese, they used an internet language converter for the Chinese characters. Heaven only knows what it really says. Probably something like, send me a million pairs of socks.

Now this one is truly spooky. The Gnomes resemblance to the Mayan calendar makes me want to hide under the bed. I'm not sure how big the Mayan market for cards really is considering by their reckoning, the world is ending in December 2012.

Thankfully this is for the home market.

Happy 2010 everyone!

Abracadabra

Made the last visit to my favorite bookstore for 2009. Front and center and just inside the door was a giant table filled with diet books. Frankly, I can't see what's so mysterious about losing weight that we need fourteen gillion different books about it. It's really just simple math.

Calories in minus calories burned equals change in weight. Easy peasy.

What we really need is a magic spell. I have two. Neither works all the time, but they both work some of the time. Here they are.

1. Step away from the _____. Fill in the blank. For me it's black licorice and potato chips.

2. Get your butt off the couch and go_____. This must involve some form of physical activity. Mine is walking.

My problem is I'm generally walking to the car to get more black licorice and potato chips.

Nothing Personal...

News Headline: 'Personal matter' summons ambulance to Obama compound

Sorry Mr. President, you gave up "Personal Matters" when you ran for office. That's evidenced by a little incident that happened to one of your predecessors.

Nope, we get to know everything that happens anywhere around you. In return, you get our confidence and respect. Oh, and some really snazzy Christmas decorations.

Guilty as Charged

Parents scrimp and save to send their children to college so they may someday earn a good living. This is one result of all that highfalutin schooling.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Totally worth it.

New Year's Resolutions

Turn on any TV station and you'll instantly know what time of year it is. That's because every other commercial is pushing a diet plan or piece of exercise equipment. They're getting a jump on the new leaf everyone's shortly going to turn.

Strange folks have already started showing up on the walking trail in the park. You know the folks I mean; the ones who are "really going to do it" this year. I've gotten pretty good at picking the ones I'll see again, and those I won't.

It's an attitude thing. The folks with a spring in their step, enjoying the scenery and fresh air, will be back. The ones staring at the ground, putting one foot in front of another like they're going to the gallows, will develop fifty excuses why they can't do it.

I'm pretty sure the guy munching the Big Mac got lost looking for a short-cut to the ice cream store.

"Ah, music. A magic far beyond all we do here!" Albus Dumbledore

From the silly:



To the sublime.



Be grateful. Support Staff suggested dogs barking jingle bells.

Merry Christmas!

Music to live by.

Luminous

One Sunday evening every December, this neighborhood presents a luminary display. For the first time in memory, snow covered the ground.

Luminaries are small white bags with sand and a votive candle in the bottom. Everyone lights their candles just after dark.

Nearly every house is decorated; some simple, some more elaborate.

This home backs up to a pond. Cheery lights strung along the fence get reflected in the water.

Neighborhood volunteers place lights in the common areas. The candles cast this lovely glow for about three hours.

Like every good Christmas parade, this one ends with Santa and his reindeer.

Lights, camera, action!

Love them tech heads.

Frosty the Snowman

It's very unusual to look out our back window at a winter wonderland. Having had plenty of warning, there's good food in the frig, interesting books on the table, and warm quilts and plump pillows on the couch.

I love winter in Carolina. Why? Because within two days, the sun will clear the walk and driveway without any participation by me.

So...all together now...

Gnomes gone Wild

Based on yesterdays award of my holiday card business, the Gnome's marketing department has run amok. Received this startling suggestion for changes to my personal decorating space. I raised an immediate objection.

Support Staff, the CEO and President of Gnome World, pointed out the block of blue cheese under the tree. It's that big blue thing there, on the right.

Support Staff was quick to refute my suggestion that it was a bribe.

The block was smelly and extremely tempting. Still, I had to decline. The timing, not to mention the size, seemed unethical. It was hard to turn down, I do love blue cheese.

Staff Support grunted, grabbed the cheese, and muttering something about getting to the store before it softened further, ran for the door.

Can't wait to see what the Gnomes leave under the tree for me on Christmas morning.

Ho, ho, huh?

In a sneaky move meant to delegate my holiday to-do list, I asked Support Staff to get some Christmas cards to send out. He said he'd design some. All I could think was; here we go.

Later that day I got an email. This is it.

M,
In the spirit of corporate greed, Santa's workshop was downsized and Santa laid off. His work has been outsourced to the Gnome franchise.

Five holiday card designs are available. They represent your love of Santa, reindeer, gardening, cake, pirates and rum. Blue cheese dressing didn't work out.

Let me know how many of each you want printed.
Support Staff


That's a lump of coal Santa's holding. Couldn't wait to see the rest of the designs.



Well, okay not so bad.


Christmas in Florida apparently. Too green. Too hot.


This just made me hungry.


This is more like it. Definitely the one.

Print 'em up matey.

"Bah, humbug!"- Ebenezer Scrooge

Right about now, I'm feeling very put upon. Christmas is eleven days away and there's a long list of things still to do. Somehow I seem to have less days to prepare, as compared to other people. So I'm reviewing my list to see what gets chopped.

Christmas cards-Well no. I like to wish my family and friends Happy Holidays.
Christmas shopping- No again. I like to give gifts.
Gift Wrapping- Well that would just be silly.
Christmas cookies- Absolutely no. I love Christmas cookies.
Tree decorating- Already done.
House Decorating- Ditto. This is harder than I thought.
House Cleaning- There it is.

I knew there was something to cross off the list.

Jack the Dog

Walking in the park today. This pony disguised as a dog approaches with a rosy cheeked lady in tow. The lady calls ahead, "Don't be afraid if he barks. He does it all the time."

Nearly upon us, the dog croons a joyous hello. He was so darn charming, we had to stop and introduce ourselves. After a cheerful scratch on the head (by us), a sniff at our nether regions (by him), and an enthusiastic slobber on the chin (again by him), we wished Jack and his companion a pleasant day.

As we parted, Jack caroled a pleasant little tune. Although the Support Staff is skeptical, I'm pretty sure it was 'Dashing through the snow.'

"We will bury you"- Nikita Khrushchev

News headline: Rocket, not Santa, blamed for Norway spiral

Now isn't this interesting. Our President just happens to be flying to Norway to receive the Nobel Peace Prize today. Time and place of the award pretty much known.

Russia blasts off a rocket from somewhere in the vicinity about the time his plane is going over. Now a really suspicious person might wonder if there was any connection.

A suspicious person might also wonder if the Russians would have owned-up if the rocket hadn't failed so spectacularly and been seen by anyone in Norway with a window.

We'll never know the truth, of course, about where our President's plane was as the missile was launched. After all, that would breach U.S. Security.

Our Secret Service would never let that happen.

Rascals and Royals, Oh My!

Book-Fiction: The Devlin Diary by Christi Phillips

This book was on the shelves for some months before I picked it up. It's an historical mystery blended with a modern setting. It's about an American female history professor who takes a one year guest teaching position at Cambridge, England. While there, she researches an intriguing historical mystery.

The historical characters do the heavy-lifting in the book, with occasional look-forwards at the life of the female professor.

By the end of the book, the historical mystery is solved, and the female professor has taken a tiny step forward in her romantic relationship with an interesting and infuriating Cambridge Don.

I really liked the set up, the mystery, and the entwining of the historical and modern day stories. It's a blend of romance and mystery, with royalty and rascals in both periods, and probably a woman's book more than a man's.

Realizing The Devlin Diary was a sequel to an earlier story, I picked up the first book in the series. Titled The Rossetti Letter, it also blends historical mystery with the modern day story of the American female professor and the Cambridge Don. The story is set in Venice, Italy.

I liked it too, though I have to say, the author's story telling skill is stronger in her second book. Which means nothing but good, for her future readers.

"Yes Master"- Genie

News headline: Karzai-U.S.must have patience if Afghanistan not ready

Loosely translated: I demand more time to steal money from you stupid suckers.

I try not to be political. Honesty I do.

But sometimes my cynicism is simply beyond my control.

"It's the Real Thing"- Coca Cola

There's this guy in New Zealand and he had some time on his hands. He looked around and decided to do some recycling.

Did I mention he's an engineer. His wife liked this one best.

Support Staff never saw a flat fender jeep he didn't like.

As for me, I'll take the red one.

"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth"-John Gillespie Magee, Jr

My one hundredth post. I thought it should be awesome. So naturally, I stole awesome from someone else.

The Space Shuttle Endeavour breaking the sound barrier.

Nerdy cool.

"Stupify"-Neville Longbottom

Today I was hijacked. Rather my computer was hijacked. By my security software!

I accidentally updated the Avast security software. It immediately flagged my files as trojans. Then it steadfastly refused to be uninstalled.

I immediately called the Wizard of Odd to fix things. After hours of equally devious hacking, stealthy maneuvering, not to mention some swear words I hadn't heard before, he was forced to cede the field of battle.

I was shocked, I tell you, shocked!! The Wizard is computer guy extraordinaire. He's also as bull-headed as they come. He's a Taurus after all. He never gives up.

After thrashing around his office half the night, he found out Avast had purposely turned into pirates. And not the rascally pirates I generally like, but the evil, villainous, fraudster kind everyone hates.

Their "update" infected millions of users. They said it was an accident. Yeah, right. And if you believe that, there's some land in Prague for sale you can see at low tide.

The good news is, the Wizard conquered it. My hero!

"Git 'er done"- Larry the Cable Guy

Thoughts on our President's speech.

He's a wonderful speaker, he is.
He's very smart, that's clear.
He believes what he says, he does.
I want to believe him too, I do.
All evidence to the contrary, I would.

The one thing I liked, that pretty much everyone else hated, was the deadline. Let's face it, if Afghanistan hasn't gotten its act together in eight years, it's unlikely to do it in eight more. While I would rather see everyone home next week, eighteen months is probably the least bad alternative.

As a benchmark:
American Revolution, July, 1776 to Oct., 1781--5 years.
World War I, July, 1914 to Nov., 1918-----------4 years.
World War II, Sept., 1939 to Sept., 1945--------6 years.
Vietnam War, Sept., 1959 to April, 1975-------16 years.
Afghanistan War, Oct., 2001 to present---------8 years.

I'm not sure what we get when it's over, except a limitless supply of heroin. But then again, maybe that's what we wanted all along.

Hey, I know that guy!

I love trucks. And I'm not alone. There's this really smart Swedish guy who loves them even more than me. This is one of his new beauties.


He's also as green as they come. Not literally, you understand, but environmentally. I've met him a time or two, and know it to be true.

Hi Leif!

Stories I Remember

Non-Fiction: A Narrative Compass by Hearne & Trites

This is an anthology, by women scholars in different disciplines, that talk about the stories of their youths and how those stories shaped their lives. The women are different in ethnicity, race and social background. They each have interesting stories to tell.

The American women named books familiar to me: Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, Little House on the Prairie, The Secret Garden, and my personal favorite, Nancy Drew.

The women from foreign places, cited verbal stories passed down through their families. It was an interesting, and I think, unintended contrast. The only American woman to use family story was of American Indian ancestry.

Reading the introduction, I immediately thought about how I had read every Nancy Drew I could find.

Upon finishing, I thought about my own family stories; some true, some embellished, some downright lies. I probably liked the lies the best.

The book's an interesting read and brought back some fond memories.

"War! What is it good for!" Edwin Starr

According to estimates, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan has cost one trillion dollars so far. That's trillion, with a T.

At the same time this is what is happening in America.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

And this.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

It's well past time to answer the question...again.

One Man's Trash

I loved this story.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

"Use one social problem to solve another." What a concept.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's Thanksgiving and I'm cooking. Asked Staff Support to do today's blog. Just something simple, I said. He came up with this.

The economy Thanksgiving turkey.

The look on my face must have conveyed my thoughts. He tried again.


The Zen Thanksgiving. See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil, to the fake turkey and the Indians presumably.

The screech in his ear must have signaled my continuing dissatisfaction. Something a little more traditional, I shrilled. I mean, I said quietly. He gave it one last shot.


Here it is.

I swear, on the outside, Staff Support looks perfectly normal.

Courage at Disneyland

News headline: Obama's first pardon: A turkey named 'Courage'

The Rogue would have wrung its neck, jerked off its head, held it aloft and let the bloody gore drip down her arm.

I'm not being political. I'm just saying...

"I Feet the Earth Move Under My Feet"- Carole King

Ten days ago, on November 14, a pretty big earthquake struck Northern Argentina. Thankfully, it occurred in an unoccupied area. Although quite large at magnitude 6.1, there were no injuries or property damage. There being no bloody gore or human misery at which to gawk, the story quickly dropped out of the news.

Earthquakes happen to relieve pressure along the major seismic plates circling the earth. They're actually pretty common. The location and size of this one got me thinking.

It happened at the lower end of the plate that snakes up the west coast of South America, continues through Central America and North America to Alaska. If quake follows quake, as usually happens, eventually there could be some pretty big ones on the West Coast of the U.S.

Of course, pressure has to build up first. Depending how fast it does, we could be looking at quakes from California to Alaska by December, 2012.

Maybe those Mayan guys were on to something after all.

Please take my money!

Stopped at the ham store today. They're all set up for the holiday rush. Nice clerk behind the counter took my order, removed it from the package for my approval, re-wrapped it, put it in a plastic bag, wished me a happy holiday, sent me to the check-out counter. Entire transaction took about a minute and a half.

Got to the check-out counter. There was one customer at the register, and another in front of me. Clerk behind the register was pleasant, chatting with her customer while ringing up the sale. Cash register glitch. Clerk voids the transaction and tries again.

Register hangs up again. Clerk gets flustered and calls Manager. Customer in front of me, turns and rolls her eyes. Two more people get in line behind me.

Manager makes her way to the register. Tries transaction. No dice. Customer at counter turns to customers waiting in line and shrugs an apology. Three more people get in line behind me.

Check-out clerk finally opens another register while Manager works with customer at the counter. What starts as a pleasant, and quick transaction, turns into a chore. Everyone is unhappy; the check-out clerk, the manager, and the very long line of customers with money in their hands.

The cash part of my transaction took over seven minutes, five times longer than selecting the product. The easiest thing to do in any business should be taking the money.

This happens so often I'm thinking about having business cards printed up. Seriously.

"It's a Duesy"

Just north of Fort Wayne, Indiana, there's a small town called Auburn. In Auburn there's a 1920's Art Deco building that time forgot. And fortunate it was. Now a museum, it is beautiful in every way possible.

If you like classic cars,

and even if you don't,

this is a place well worth visiting.

You might bump into a familiar face.

Make that skim milk please

Seriously creepy news headline. Peruvian Police: Gang Killed to Collect Human Fat.

According to this story, Peruvian thugs kill people, collect their fat, and sell it to a cosmetic company. The cosmetic company supposedly sells the products in Europe. No cosmetic company was actually named.

People are willing to do some pretty gruesome things in the pursuit of beauty. Waxing anything immediately comes to mind. But is there really someone on earth who would purposely rub human fat on themselves? What would that ad campaign look like?

And why bother to kill anyone? They could just pick up the trash at any plastic surgeon's office who does liposuction. There must be tons of the stuff in California alone.

And that raises an ugly question. Just where does all that...um...material go?

Eeyoooow. There's a picture that's going to be hard to forget.

Geezer Bandit-Update

America's Most Wanted

"On Sept. 12, the sticky-fingered senior citizen struck again -- this time at the San Diego National Bank. During the heist, witnesses say he carried an oxygen tank on his shoulder with a tube leading into his nose."

I'm sorry, I can't help it. An oxygen tank?

"It's a Lulu"-1940's slang

Several of the publishing blogs I follow are agog with an announcement from Harlequin. In case you don't know, Harlequin's claim to fame is the romance novel.

Harlequin has decided to publish pretty much anything anyone sends them, for a fee of course. They mean if the 'legitimate' publishing side of the business turns down a manuscript, the author is encouraged to send it to another of their business enterprises which will print it for $600.

In the olden days, that kind of publisher was called a vanity press. But through the marvels of marketing, it's now called self-publishing. Doesn't that sound like good old American get up and go?

We have a wonderful example of how this might work from the music industry. There were so many frustrated rock stars waiting to be discovered, that they simply eliminated those pesky middle men who were wrongly filtering out their talent. They cut their own cd's and put them on the internet. Now anyone in the world can sample their genius before they plunk down any money. Yep, capitalism at its finest.

The problem for consumers (that would be the people with the money) is there are about six bazillion rock star cd's to sort through. I guess that's no problem if you're a student with not much to do. I can't see anyone with a job bothering with it.

It sounds like Harlequin has decided they can't make money selling books. They can only make money selling bindings. Maybe it's just me, but $600 bucks for a binder sounds pretty expensive.

Lulu will do it for about $100.

"Just Do It"- Nike

News Headline: FBI Looking for 'Geezer Bandit' in California

I laughed. I shouldn't. The five bank tellers robbed at gun point didn't find it funny.

But when I read the headlines, an image immediately popped into my head.

The guy's 70. He fled on foot. Those must be some Nike's.

"No matter where you go-there you are"- Confucius

Saw this headline and it got me thinking. It's starting to bother me the way we're barging around in outer space.

First mission: go to the moon, do some sight-seeing, come home.

Second mission: invade the moon, steal some rocks, dump some garbage, come home.

Third mission: invade the moon, take a junky car, trample the scenery, hit some golf balls, steal more rocks, dump more garbage including the junked car, come home.

Next mission: invade mars, leave a couple of spies, window-peep for five years.

Next mission: send spy probes to every other planet in the galaxy.

Next mission: Big Brother Hubble.

Latest mission: bomb the moon.

Is it just me, or are we starting to look like really bad neighbors?

In the rear view mirror

Craggy, warty, ragged, but lovely just the same. Something pretty for a beautiful sunny Sunday.

The Virtue of Patience

Walking in the park and came across this guy. Surprised to see him still around. He's kind of hard to see. Wait just a minute. Wait...wait.


Ah, there he is. That's much better.

"Where Everybody Knows Your Name" Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo

Had lunch with a group of old friends today. We talked about everything and nothing, as friends do.

There is something so comfortable about conversing with a group of intelligent people you've known for years. Shared interesting conversation, funny stories and a few sad ones too. We solved the world's problems over a bite to eat. It was a good mind stretch, a good laughter stretch, an all around pleasant time.

The guy in the song had it just right.

Next time though, we really should consider dressing up a little more.

Clean Desk Award

I'm a piler. I mostly pile up news articles, magazines, research, and interesting things I might want to read some day. I also have a bazillion sticky notes with cryptic messages scribbled on them stuck everywhere. Once in a while, the piles get ominously tall.

Today was one of those days. I took an hour to sort through, clean out and throw away a bunch of junk. The good thing about being a piler, is that by the time I get to going through the stuff, I can't remember why I kept it in the first place. It makes the job so much easier.

I've tried lots of different filing systems but I always ended up with cabinets jammed full of paper. It was out of sight, but ignored. This way, I pile it up until it threatens to crush me, then I throw it all out and start again.

It's weird but it works for me. As a side bonus, I feel ten pounds lighter.

"Party on Dude" Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Watched a TV documentary on crop circles. You know, those fancy designs that show up in farmers fields at harvest time. According to the documentary, there are two kinds of crop circles.

The first kind are simple, neatly layered crops with no broken or crushed stalks and typically with an odd polarity to them. They appear all over the world. Scientists don't know what causes them, though they surmise it has something to do with earths natural gravitational laws.

The second kind are very elaborate. They were a mystery for decades. Then in 1991 two guys confessed to starting them in southern England in the early 1960's. They used simple geometry and a board and rope tool to make them.

What's fascinating about this, is that many people ignore the guys who confessed. Instead they argue and debate endlessly about the source of these elaborate circles. They show up wherever the circles are discovered, and commiserate with...well with whatever source they believe created them.

I suspect they're just looking for a good reason to party.

I can't take any more!!

This was my view for the entire day. I started early in the morning and I am still at it. I'm sick of it. My eyes hurt. My brain has turned to mush. I literally can't think straight.

I'm going to turn the computer off now and go eat cookies. Lots of cookies.

Parlez vous Francais?

Non-Fiction Book: I'll Never Be French (no matter what I do) by Mark Greenside

This is a light fun read about a middle-aged American man who goes to Brittany, France on an extended vacation and falls in love with a small Breton village. He doesn't speak the language, has little knowledge of how things in the country operate, and manages to buy a house before he leaves.

Each chapter is a little story about his experience dealing with an everyday situation, from the simple-buying groceries, to the more complex-making a claim with his insurance agent. Along the way he describes the challenges and pleasures of living in a different culture, and learning to live in a small town.

The Support Staff recommended it to me. I liked it too. So much so, I'm busy checking fares on Air France.

"The Road Not Taken" Robert Frost

A lovely tunnel of trees, leading who knows where. Is there anything better than crunching through dried leaves in the fall? It's a lot more fun than raking them up.

Unless you're this guy.

"Ohm" Buddhist Mantra

After yesterday's post, Support Staff thought some much needed calm was in order. A beautiful place for quiet reflection. Found this around a bend in the road. A little mood music helped too. I must say it worked its magic.

I feel much better now.

"Off with their heads" Queen of Hearts

News Headline: Walmart-Nobody Will Lose Job With H1N1

It's comforting to know that folks who work there, folks who come in contact with hundreds of people daily, including little kids and teens, have permission to stay home if they get swine flu.

What I find odd, is that the Corporate Management has told the media they will send a special letter to their store managers to inform them. Why would managers have to be told people with flu, swine or otherwise, need to stay home? Hasn't flu been around for a while?

Maybe the part the managers didn't know was that the permission extended to sick kids of workers. Apparently it's a new concept, parents staying home with sick kids, at Walmart anyway.

I wonder if the permission extends to life threatening things like appendicitis, pneumonia or heart failure? I guess it doesn't matter. Those aren't contagious and won't keep shoppers out of the stores.

I'd hate to see Walmart miss a buck.

Leave a message

Story in the news today about people finding messages in bottles. Thought it was an unusual happening. Nope. Lots of people search rivers and beaches and find bottles with messages inside. One guy has found more than 60 so far. I really wanted to know what the notes said.

I found this story fascinating and thought about what I might write. It should be something profound. Something that would awe and inspire. Something life changing, or life affirming.

It might not be found for fifty years. What would people find inspiring fifty years from now? I came up with a long list of possibilities.

Have a nice day-trite. Take care of yourself-ditto. Nothing seemed right, weighty enough, deep enough.

Here's the best I could do. No littering.

The Body Hit the Floor...or not.

I've been writing along on my story. Got over 20,000 words so far. Here's the thing. I can't kill off my victim. She should have hit the morgue 5,000 words ago. Every time I get close, she gets a reprieve. That isn't good in a mystery. I mean where's the mystery if no one ends up dead?

The problem is, I like her. I just can't pull the trigger on her. So here we are, at least three chapters from where she was supposed to hit the floor, still dancing around looking for something to do. It's boring. But I just can't do it.

I tried knocking off that good-for-nothing, two-faced, viper-tongued friend of hers. I didn't care. I was glad to see the sniveling shrew get it. Doesn't make for a good mystery.

This happens all the time. I've got two other half done stories where the intended victims are still walking around listening to their ipods.

I'm getting this uncomfortable deja vu the newest almost victim is going to live forever with the others in the unfinished file in my desk drawer.

Dang, I really thought I could pull the trigger this time.

Pretty Maids all in a Row

Fall is rapidly coming to a close. Wanted to capture the lovely seasonal color in a favorite park.

Before they're raking it from the lawn.

Reading is Fundamental

I love, love, love, seeing little kids in the library. A youngster, I'm guessing nine or so, in the kids section caught my eye today. He studied the shelves. One book after another was thoughtfully examined only to be replaced. Obviously a kid of discerning taste.

As I was leaving, he approached the desk with his selection. He solemnly placed his library card on his choice, and pushed it across the check-out desk.

I'm telling you it was all I could do to stop myself from running over to see which book had so tantalized his imagination to make the cut.

Of course I did wonder why he was in the library at 1:30 on a school day. The Marshal in me I guess.

"The Farmer in the Dell" Nursery Rhyme

I love a rainy day. And what could be better than a rainy day with an extra hour? Last night we let our clocks fall back for daylight savings time.

I've never heard an explanation for daylight savings that made sense to me. Somewhere I picked up the notion it was for the farmers. Not sure why they would care one way or another. There's only so many hours of daylight, and they probably use every one of them regardless of what the clock says.

I looked it up in Wiki, modern repository of all knowledge. The explanation was muddled. Wiki did note the problem to farmers but not exactly what that problem might be.

As for me, I'll enjoy the extra hour of rain today and do something fun in the sun tomorrow.

Boo!

Well really, what else would it be on Halloween night?

Past Things

Halloween is almost here. The Support Staff is really glad. It's not because he likes it. In fact he's pretty tired of the entire subject about now. He's just waiting for the candy to come out of hiding.

I'm pretty sure if he hears my favorite Halloween tune one more time, he's going to run screaming from the house.

But itt was always my favorite.

"Money for Nothing" Dire Straits

Saw this sign on several different street corners. Pointed it out to the Support Staff. I thought we should jump on it. I mean...free income...every month!

His comment: I wonder how much that's going to cost somebody.

"I Love the Night Life" Alicia Bridges

It's interesting to see the evolution of monsters. There are the classics, who were meant to be monsters from the start. And a few that were only meant to frighten but turned into some of the scariest monsters of all.

One kept me out of campgrounds, and one on the sand. At least one went from monster to toast of the town.

The new monsters have a certain elan, an unmistakable flair, an almost classy panache.

But in the end, they all have one thing in common.

Two for one

Headline: FAA Revokes Northwest Pilots' Licenses

I guess now we know why we have to turn off all our electric devices. Somebody has to keep an eye out for the airport.


Halloween is just a few days away. Folks are thinking about costumes for themselves and the kids. Sometimes they run out of ideas for the pets. And a few never run out of ideas.

Nearest Exit Behind You-Update

News Headline: Stray Jet's Pilots Were On Laptops


Apparently rumors are rampant they were watching Mrs. Hughes.


Well okay, why didn't they just say so.

Was that Billion with a B?

A day to contemplate beautiful things.


Source: Hubblesite.org
Saturn's Rings


Source: Hubblesite.org
The Cat's Eye Nebula


Source: Hubblesite.org
The Pistol Star, Core of the Milky Way

I don't care if it did cost $1Billion bucks, I'm glad we fixed Hubble.

Eek!

I've never had a fondness for snakes. It started long before a certain British author made a giant one a repository for the ultimate evil soul.

I think it's because I could never tell if it was the harmless kind that simply kept the mice down in the garden, or the lethal kind more likely to put me six feet under it.

So I was less than sympathetic to read this story.

8-)

The nearest exit may be behind you

First Headline: Northwest Airlines Pilots Miss Airport by 150 Miles

Second headline: Northwest Pilot tells ABC News, 'I Can Assure You None of Us Was Asleep'

Third headline: Wisconsin Air National guard says F-16's were "prepared" to shoot down the plane if the order had come.

Headline to come: Pilots ask Traffic Control, 'Why didn't you twitter us?'

Say Ahhh

On the way to the doc today for the annual checkup. Looking for some music on the radio to distract me from the indignities to come. Talk, talk, talk, nothing but talk.

Finally hit the scanner hoping something interesting would flash by. Got my wish.

Don't you love it when a plan comes together.

"Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!" Robbie the Robot

Barnes & Noble introduced a new ebook reader today. In case you haven't heard of these things, they're electronic devices on which you can download any book that's been digitalized. Probably millions of them by now. It's B&N's answer to Amazon's Kindle and the Sony Reader. All of these digital readers are well over two hundred bucks.

I love books. I love bookstores. I love to browse bookstore aisles waiting for books to leap into my hand. Little plastic devices just don't do it for me. For one thing there's no colorful cover art to lure me in. No promise by publishers of the delights to come. No tantalizing re-cycled paper smell.

Electronic readers by definition require batteries, and cords, and have confusing little buttons that make no sense, taking you forward, backward and everywhere in between seemingly at random, and then stops for no apparent reason. And you can't figure out how to turn them on, or bookmark a page, or, or...too much.

I want simple. Curl up on the couch, turn on the lamp, open the book. Easy-peasy.

So no, dear Support Staff, I don't want any book that requires tech support for Christmas.

When Pigs Fly!

I saw an interesting tattoo today and it got me thinking. It must take extreme confidence to commit to a picture that's going to be with you forever. The people who get names must be the most confident of all, since it's most fraught with peril.

Then there are the folks who have a sense of humor. The brave at heart. The truly creepy. And the folks always ready for Halloween. Don't you wonder what that guy does for a living?

As for me, I find it hard to keep the kitchen the same color for two years in a row. And I'm a chicken. Signing up to get poked a million times with a needle is not on my list of 1,000 things to do before I die.

Nope, a guy comes at me with a needle, it better be filled with swine flu vaccine.

Is this Crazy?

Here's a picture of a monument-to-be, taken in the Black Hill of South Dakota in 1977. The project was started in 1948. That means this picture shows 29 years of progress.

This is how it looks today, after 32 more years of work. So if I've got my math right, this project's been under construction for 61 years so far. They say they take in about $1M a year from tourists.

It's granddaddy took fourteen years to sculpt and cost $1M.

Someday it will look like this, by my reckoning, about a thousand years from now. That assumes the mountain still stands and there's somebody to collect the fees.

Can't help wondering what the guy on the horse would have wanted, the monument or the mountain.

Status: 20,400 words, 59,600 to go.

What's he supposed to be?

Stopped in the pet store the other day. I like the ferrets. Couldn't help noticing the pet costumes for sale. There was quite a variety.

I've always considered the Halloween costumes people pick for themselves an expression of their alter egos. What do the costumes they pick for their pets say about them?

I have to give them credit for getting anything other than a collar on their pets. You can probably guess which one I liked the best.

But some choices are down right disturbing.

Status: 20,100 words, 59,900 to go.

What does that mean?

Vanity License Plate - RU OK?!

I've seen some pretty funny vanity license plates, some in remarkably poor taste, and a few that I simply couldn't figure out.

This one struck a happy cord with me. Here's how it reads to me:

RU OK?! No, but thanks for asking.
RU OK?! Yes I am, thanks for asking.

See what I mean? Win, win.

Of course it could mean; RU OK?! Because you're driving like a manic.

Status: 19,500 words, 60,500 to go.

"It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown"- Linus

Asked my Support Staff to pick up a pumpkin for the porch. Now what you have to understand is, the Support Staff isn't a big fan of Halloween. In fact he's a bit of a Scrooge about it. I'm not sure why. Here's the pumpkin he bought.

I couldn't help observing, a little grumpily I'll admit, it was going to be hard to turn into a jack-o-lantern.

So Support Staff handled it.

In case you missed it.

Status: 18,900 words, 61,100 to go.

What did you see?

FlashForward-ABC TV

I find the FlashForward premise intriguing. Imagine that everyone in the world passes out for two and a half minutes. While they're out, they see a vision of their life on April 29, 2010 at a specific time.

Some people see good things, some bad, some see nothing at all. No one knows if what they have seen is their true future.

The story's told through the eyes of several FBI agents. The agency is trying to figure out what caused the blackout and if it will happen again. At the same time, each agent has to deal with their individual vision.

I was immediately hooked. So was the Support Staff. I mean mystery, thriller, sci-fi all wrapped up in one show. What could be better? It's a series, so if it sounds good, jump in before the story gets too far ahead of you.

It's an intriguing question. If you were given the chance to see two and half minutes of your future, would you do it?

Not me. Rather not see the size of my future self.

Status: Unchanged, finished my other project.

The end of the world again?

There's a new brouhaha raging about the end of the world as we know it. The new date is December 2012. That was the end of the Mayan calendar.

You remember the Mayans, they were the guys who ripped out living human hearts as offerings to the Gods. They liked kid's hearts best because they considered them pure. Their kids must have been a lot different than the ones today.

Now the Mayans are trying to weasel out of the whole thing. Sure, now that it's only a few years away. It was much easier to be confident in 900 AD.

Doomsayers are running around coming up with new proofs; da Vinci, I Ching, tea leaves, Dan Brown. After all, there are books coming out, movies being released, probably songs to be sung. Lot's of money to be made between now and 2012, especially by Dan Brown.

As for me, I think the Mayans didn't want to count any higher. Let's face it, chiseling all that math in stone must have been a real pain in the butt.

Status: Unchanged, still working on the old stuff.

"It's a bird, it's a plane..." Superman

There's an old apartment building next door to the library I visit. Today a vulture was circling above it. I wasn't the only one to notice. People around me were looking up and pointing, sort of like the opening to the old Superman TV show.

Of course my mind went immediately to, 'what if?' What if some poor soul was dead in there; what if they had been murdered; what if the rugs were soaked with blood and brains were spattered all over the walls; what if...

I have to stop. It's not easy being me.

Status: Unchanged. Wrote 500 words today, but on another project.

Is this Real?

Yeah...picture today from Minneapolis...yeah...sorry, I got nothing.

Wait, wait, I got it. Be glad ya ain't there today, unless of course ya are.

Status: 18,300 words, 61,700 to go.

Fall in the Country

It's Sunday, a day for quiet contemplation.

Can there be anything more beautiful to contemplate than fall in the country?

Just in case you missed it.


Worked all day on an old project. For some reason, it just called to me for attention.

Status: Unchanged.

Mind the Gap

Julian Beever, Street Artist

To see something amazing, take a few minutes and watch this video. I liked it.

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Status: 17,750 words, or 62,250 to go.

Bad boy!

I'm sitting in the car at the grocery store while my Support Staff picks up a few things. A white van pulls into the space directly across the aisle from me. Three young guys get out. One of them heads toward the store. The driver steps to the back of the van, and...
well you get the picture. The third guy continues the conversation during the ritual. After things were tucked away, the driver and his pal head for the grocery store. It's a big store with a public restroom. Granted it's at the back of the store, but he was going there anyway.

He was the driver, so I'm guessing the tire was his, but still...

I saw this a couple of times in France, where it's permitted and might actually be written into the Constitution. Maybe the guy was French.

I know our standards have changed but have they gotten so low that we compete with...

This is the next sign we'll be seeing.

Status: 17,100 words, or 62,900 to go.