Worst of the worst

Curious, I checked out my movie review from yesterday against the critics at Rotten Tomatoes. As often happens, my attention was immediately diverted.

They have compiled a list of the 100 worst movies, or as they call them, the Worst of the worst, according to their Tomatometer metrics. The movies reviewed were all released in the last decade. Of course, I had to check them out.

Though I've seen some clunkers in the last ten year, I was surprised to find I hadn't seen any of the ones on the list. I hadn't even heard of most of them. It didn't take much analysis to understand why not.

My standards for going to the movies aren't high, but I do have some. I studiously avoid movies that seem to contain fourteen year old humor(fart jokes, puke jokes, genitalia jokes), fourteen year old horror(razor fingered slashers of nubile females), fourteen year old sex fantasy(naked boobs, naked butts, ten inch tongues), fourteen year old sci-fi (cheesy aliens, cheesy spaceships, cheesy doors to hell), Jim Carrey, or Larry the Cable Guy.

I'm pretty much convinced the movies on the Tomato Worst list were written and directed by actual fourteen year old boys, whose Hollywood parents are extremely rich and supremely over-indulgent. Certainly sensible grown-ups wouldn't continue to make such schlock.

But then seeing what passes for entertainment on TV these days, it's quite likely Hollywood has been completely taken over by mindless fourteen year old's.

Status: 11,233 words, 68,767 to go.